You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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