I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
