I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
