That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
