All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
