I wanna bring you to show and tell
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
