shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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