eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
