Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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