you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
this hospital has no fireball
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
