if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize