I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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