He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
