So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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