just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
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