You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
