Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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