Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
