yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
