Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
