I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
