Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Randomize
