Non-Jews are for practice
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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