You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
