What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
