I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize