We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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