I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
