Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
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