my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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