Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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