it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
