i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
