Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
