Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
