I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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