No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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