No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
