also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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