you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
No subtext here. People are naked.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
