If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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