To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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