Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
