i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
