Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
