at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
My ass is underappreciated
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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