Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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