dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
