You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
