I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
