I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
