I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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