I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
