i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You may now shotgun with the bride
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
