I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
