Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
