I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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