I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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